Ok, so there's this one Simpsons where the family moves to 'Cypress Creek' and because Bart doesn't know how to read cursive writing he gets sent to a remedial class. He describes it as "class with kids who have mittens pinned to their coats all year!" That's all I can think of when we have to do this with Michael.
Our boy isn't special ed!! He just has razor sharp baby nails that like to scratch mommy when he eats...and yes, I did trim them. The short nail is still sharp.